What to Do When the Feelings Are Gone?

It doesn’t always come with a big aha moment.No dramatic fight, no clear crisis. Just… silence.Fewer conversations, fewer looks, less touch.And when I ask in therapy, “What brings you here?”,one of them says:“I just don’t feel anything anymore.”

So what do you do when your heart feels empty?When the connection that used to be there feels distant?

“No feelings” — or just a closed heart?

I’ve heard that sentence dozens of times.But in many cases — it’s not the whole story.It’s often old anger, frustration, disappointment, or loneliness that’s built up over time.The feelings did not  disappear — they’re just buried underneath.

In therapy, we don’t try to “rescue love.”We ask: what shut it down?

Feelings are not static — they’re being built with specific thoughts and actions 

We tend to think love should “just happen.”But when you’re tired, raising kids, are constantly under pressure — nothing happens on its own.Love needs space. And it needs attention.

I’ve seen so many couples who came in thinking it was the end,and ended up reconnecting — sometimes more deeply than before.

So what can you do?

• Come to a session — even if only one if you feels disconnected.

• Speak honestly. About what hurts, what’s missing, what’s been left unsaid.

• Ask yourselves: is there still a spark of willingness?

If yes — even just a little bit — we can work with that.

And if there isn’t? That’s also an answer. But you don’t have to reach it alone.

In Summary

If you feel like “everything is gone,”it doesn’t always mean the end.Sometimes, it’s a chance for a change.

You don’t have to decide now whether to stay or to leave.But you can explore, with the right support, what’s still possible.

I’m here to walk through the silence  with you —and help you hear what your heart is really saying.