What Actually Happens in a Couples Therapy Session?

So many couples hesitate to reach out for help — not because they don’t want to save their relationship, but because they don’t know what to expect.

Will the therapist take sides? Will we be judged?

Will someone tell us what to do with our lives?

Let me say this clearly: none of that is what therapy is about.

It’s not about who’s “right”

Couples therapy isn’t a courtroom. No one wins, and no one loses.

You don’t come to be judged.

You come to be heard.

To find a space where each of you can finally put things on the table — without being interrupted, blamed, or dismissed.

The first session is about understanding the “we” and the “I”

Usually, we start by looking at your relationship — but also at each of you as individuals.

What patterns repeat themselves? Where did you learn to react this way?

What’s behind the silence, the anger, the distance?

There’s no rush. No pressure.

Just a safe space to breathe and explore.

If one of you is more hesitant — that’s okay

It’s completely normal when one partner is more talkative or willing than the other.

A good therapist won’t force anyone to “open up.”

Instead, we work with what is there — gently, patiently, and respectfully.

You don’t need to be “falling apart” to start

Some couples come in crisis. Some — simply feel distant.

Sometimes, everything “looks fine” on the outside, but inside — there’s silence.

If you’re reading this, chances are something doesn’t feel right.

And that alone is a good enough reason to come.

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